Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
