First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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