I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
