Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
