I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
