So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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