I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
