I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And then my night got REAL pukey
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
