bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize