This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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