dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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