Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
