I am in a vortex of obligation.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
