OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
third nipple confirmed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
