dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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