Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
