So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
