is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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