You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
