does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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