Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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