Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
