YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
