Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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