Yo dont text me then not text me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
