After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have aggressive nipples.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
