she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
