Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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