Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
