what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
