i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
