I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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