i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
