I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
