Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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