Sry I called you an 8
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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