i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize