WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
