How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
