every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Never underestimate the power of titties
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
