it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
