just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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