We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
