bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
