walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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