Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
