I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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