I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
