two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
