I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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