That's intense
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
