so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
