Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
