Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
