weddingsv make me drug and hornr
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I understand Curling. That high.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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