Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
