Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
