um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
