i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
