Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
